37.

 I bought an iPhone today, and I feel pure horror for having done so. I want to flick my own ear, and  ask myself what am I doing buying a product that not every Omani can own. It is painful, when connecting to your family means disconnecting from your people, for every bit of pain my compatriots feel will return to me a thousand times over. Unfortunately, getting information is not as cheap as getting food, and, though I want to lash myself every time I buy something expensive, these items I get are the property of my nation, not my personal items, for I use them to glorify the pattern on the hats of the desert dwellers, and to imbue the barren land with information, for that is the first ingredient that is required to make it lush, before the water, before the soil. Omana, how could I ever leave you, if the sweet silage of your trees doesn’t follow me? Call you them Omanis? Nay, they are Omanons, and have been such for two thousand years. Glory comes from satisfying your craving for what you cannot own. Enough of your coronets, for I will give you a crown, and wear a mitre myself. Honor be to you, your majesty, just don’t let drops of coffee fall as we toast.