Life, unfortunately, is arranged in such a way that one is forced to feel pain whether one wants it or not. In the end, it’s not the large things that determine whether you feel contentment or not, it’s the small things. People constantly say things that try and force you to live like a cockroach, and if you listen to them, you will act in ways that end up causing boredom. Have the strength to move you arm in the right direction, letting subconscious virtue guide the way in your life, because in the end, sin is bad because it results in self harm, literally, whereas noble behavior leaves your body free of embellishments. I don’t know how people who speak vice live their daily lives, but it’s probably unpleasant. For some reason or another, we hear as much the speech of criminals as we do the speech of the honorable. We don’t know why our life has ended up this way, because in heaven, only virtuous words are spoken, and work cannot be done except if one’s environment is free of vice, which is why not much gets done in some prisons, or even some homes, for that matter. You are an engine of virtue. The gear is not on drive, but on neutral, we still pack a punch.
This is difficult. Years and years of suffering has made the possibilities of feeling peace, even in the absence of sources of agony, well nigh impossible. Am I doomed to be a prisoner of my emotions forever, unable to feel contentment because I am too busy obsessing over why I failed instead of promoting my future. I feel sad, because people have caused me inhuman harm, and simply ignoring that and living my life now is not easy, I just wanted to feel peace, and now that the possibility is here I ignore it and instead spend my time thinking as to why I have been prevented from feeling it in the past, something, which of course has no answer. All I can do is mourn, perhaps because peace is not really a fundamental human right, even though the pursuit of it is. I must remind myself that I am not strange in feeling this way, for at the end of a bloody war, who in an entire country can claim to feel immediate peace? Such a task is not human, and emotional wounds take time to heal. ...
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