Don’t tell me it’s an insult to speak to a wall, for if speaking to men of steel is a privilege, why should this be lacking when dialoging to slabs of concrete? Quarks, even strings, you are just the beginning, for though the realities of datalism might relegate you to the realms of fantasy literature, you nevertheless will fling us to the footsteps of andromeda, once we become disturbingly close to destroying our own Milky Way with our power. That is the ironic development of life, that the possibility of reaching new shores only ever appears when the chance of destroying existing ones materializes. You can have the mind of ten Einsteins, but eventually, fear due to surreality will settle in, forcing us to take respite in medicine, and the heart, with all it’s solidarity of love. Need you two dimensional time maps to make it to another habitable planet? No matter, give us a millennium or two, and we will design them for you. I wish I could deny it, but sometimes I feel that people who believe we will colonize mars before one or two centuries pass are disregarding the experiences of the Soviet Union.
This is difficult. Years and years of suffering has made the possibilities of feeling peace, even in the absence of sources of agony, well nigh impossible. Am I doomed to be a prisoner of my emotions forever, unable to feel contentment because I am too busy obsessing over why I failed instead of promoting my future. I feel sad, because people have caused me inhuman harm, and simply ignoring that and living my life now is not easy, I just wanted to feel peace, and now that the possibility is here I ignore it and instead spend my time thinking as to why I have been prevented from feeling it in the past, something, which of course has no answer. All I can do is mourn, perhaps because peace is not really a fundamental human right, even though the pursuit of it is. I must remind myself that I am not strange in feeling this way, for at the end of a bloody war, who in an entire country can claim to feel immediate peace? Such a task is not human, and emotional wounds take time to heal. ...
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